Another Mercy Survivor Story
Here I reproduce a comment placed on this site under a different article which gives yet another account of how destructive Mercy’s illogical theology can be.
I don’t know why I seek out current Mercy survivor stories when I know it will trigger really upsetting memories of my time there. But I keep doing it. My time in the program was…complicated. Terrible, terrible theology/counseling methods (Mercy) + really wounded/dysfunctional woman (me) = a perfect storm.
I want so badly for Nancy to right Mercy’s course by examining the theology practiced and promoted there, implementing reputable counseling methods, and amending many of their “best” practices. Essentially, completely overhaul everything Mercy has been to date. The cynic in me says it will never ever happen. If there’s anything I learned from my time there, it was that questioning was tantamount to rebellion. The culture was one of blind obedience, in my opinion. I imagine that those who question Nancy, or Mercy methods, don’t last long.
My relationship with God is stronger and deeper now than it’s ever been. And perhaps the only way Mercy contributed to my growth in God was by giving me such a negative experience with their really shoddy and semi-heretical belief system. In this, they unintentionally pushed me in the direction of a robust theology — and way of interacting with God and the world — rather than in the direction of the simple theology they espoused time and again.
I’ve read so many “testimonies” of Mercy graduates who include some version of the following statement, “God used Mercy to save me from…” or “If it wasn’t for God using Mercy, I would be…” or “I thank God for Mercy,” etc. etc.
To these women, I pose the following question, “What if God is using Mercy not because of its methods, but DESPITE them?”
The Truth About Mercy 
Makes me even more hesitant. Thanks for this post.
September 20, 2013 at 7:39 am
I went to Mercy Ministries in the UK, and for me it really helped. I can’t say what its like in other countries but sometimes I think it depends if your ready and also it doesn’t suit everyone.
January 7, 2014 at 1:11 am
iwant to know more about mercy ijust love the ministrie ucan cal me 08181665587
April 20, 2014 at 12:53 pm
Oh I have a huge Mercy survival story that is still affecting my life 20 years later! Literally just last week Mercy added one more truckload of junk to the pile and had no intention of accepting responsibility.
July 9, 2014 at 1:59 pm
This makes me so sad. Mercy ministries has saved my life, I am a graduate from the Lincoln home in California. Mercy is not an easy program, but it is transformational and Nancy’s heart is nothing but good. Her intentions are not to harm the girls at all! The staff are human too… Which may mean they have bad days, or struggle to support the girls in certain areas where it is not always easy. But I know that over all are at Mercy because they love and support each girl, also I know every staff member is screen and goes through extensive training before even seeing a young lady. As I said this makes me very sad that a few people who had a bad experience have tainted the true story of the work that God is doing at Mercy. I pray that you will investigate this yourself before believing what is said about Mercy. Find out for yourself!
January 10, 2015 at 11:54 am
Dear 2013 Mercy Grad, thanks for weighing in. As the person who made the original comment that was reproduced, I wanted to comment on a couple of things you wrote:
“Nancy’s heart is nothing but good”
Nobody’s heart — no matter who they are or what they do — is all good (or all bad, for that matter). Nobody’s. Even those long admired for their faithfulness — from biblical characters like David and Abraham to modern day heroes like Mother Teresa — were still those whose hearts and actions at times were sinful or conflicted or struggling. Nancy included. Me included. All humans included.
“The staff are human too… Which may mean they have bad days, or struggle to support the girls in certain areas where it is not always easy.”
Very true. I know this and appreciate you saying this. Except that Mercy, at least when I was there, very seldom, if ever, acknowledged that sometimes their program — their staff, their theology, their overall M.O. — just isn’t a good fit for many women through NO fault of those women. When I was there, there were many women who chose to leave or were asked to leave and in every single case, except one, the remaining residents were gathered together and told of the woman’s departure and it was implied to us that it was NOT Mercy’s fault, but the woman’s. (Thought control). We were also told to surrender contact information for that woman. (Behavior control). What are we to infer from this? This is not the M.O. of a healthy organization. It’s just not.
Look, I’m not asking Mercy to be capable of helping every woman who enters the program. I’m asking Mercy that it NOT pretend to be. I’m asking them to openly acknowledge the specific word-faith beliefs that drive their “counseling” model and to acknowledge that the program may not be well suited for every woman and that is not necessarily the woman’s fault. I would like them to to retract their consistent statement to residents — believe me, I heard this statement over and over again — that Mercy is the last and only place that can really help. False. That God brought them to Mercy and God Himself does not want them to leave under any circumstances. False. In short, I want Mercy to acknowledge their imperfections in a formal, authentic way. They — and they’re supporters — are sure quick to acknowledge ours.
“this makes me very sad that a few people who had a bad experience have tainted the true story of the work that God is doing at Mercy.”
I’m sorry that you feel that our sharing our bad experiences somehow taint the good truth about Mercy. I’m not going to argue with you about your experience. Because I’m willing to do what Mercy and so many Mercy supporters will not — acknowledge that we all have very different experiences and THAT IS NORMAL. Don’t worry: my bad experience does not invalidate your good one. If God saved your life and used Mercy to do it, well, I am not going to take that away from you. And your good experience with Mercy does not invalidate my bad one. We have different sets of experiences and both of those experiences, as we experienced them, are valid in the sense that they are REAL. They happened. And they are ours to own.
While it sounds like we disagree on many things related to Mercy and Nancy, I’m encouraged to hear that your life was saved. Your life matters. I speak about my negative experiences in the program because my life matters, too, as do the lives of those who have left the program more damaged, or differently damaged, than they entered into it. As do the lives of those women who want to enter the program but who do not believe in the Prosperity Gospel and exposure to the Prosperity Gospel in the program could be detrimental to their healing. I speak about my experiences at Mercy to add depth and dimension to the information produced by Mercy. Because Mercy will not tell you what they really believe, how they really counsel, how they really conduct business until you are there and it feels too late. After all, if they lead you to believe that Mercy is your last hope, and yet you disagree with them, or are psychologically harmed by them, what hope do you have left if you leave? Or get kicked out? None. That’s the Mercy message.
I believe that someday I will answer to God for every public and secret word I’ve spoken, every action I’ve taken, every thought I’ve meditated on. I am prepared because I know what is true about my life. I know what is true about my experiences. I know, to the best of my ability, the difference between a true gospel and a false one. I am not ashamed.
January 16, 2015 at 4:35 pm
If you are so close to God than why are you in offense and judgment of these people? Sounds like hypocrisy to me.
June 27, 2016 at 4:32 am
Hi Mindee. I realize that you left this comment a little over a year ago but I wanted to response anyway.
I’m sad that my comments sound like hypocrisy to you. I’m well aware of my own flaws, and when I’ve screwed up, I seek to make amends where and when I can, as often as I can.
But God is a God of truth. And it is not living in judgment or offense for me to speak the truth about my experiences and about teachings/counseling methods that have damaged me, especially if they’re potentially continuing to damage others.
I don’t know what your theological background is, but one toxic aspect of Word of Faith/Prosperity Gospel teaching is the emphasis placed on NOT critically examining ideas and teachings — or teachers — within the movement (a false interpretation of “touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm” from Psalm 105 ).
God gave me a heart AND a heart and it’s important to me that I use them.
October 2, 2017 at 2:00 pm
*whoops, meant to write “a heart AND a brain,” ironically 🙂
October 2, 2017 at 2:04 pm
I am so sorry you had a negative experience there. God is leading me to start a home for young women with life-controlling issues, and I would love to receive feedback and ideas from you…not to bash Mercy, but so I can get different viewpoints to pray about for the ministry. If the Lord puts it on your heart to contact me, please do so. Hope to hear from you soon!
December 13, 2016 at 11:57 am
Hi, I was an early on birthmother adoption case, at Mercy . I was very hurt by this ministry and their neglect contineed over the years. I know of several adoption cases there who the so called hand picked , prayed for adopting parents, ie fathers ( supposed Christian leaders) were abusive, immoral and eventually abandoned their families. I was treated very badly with no follow up counsel. The word of faith teaching, which is what they espouse is very harsh, very stoic in their expectations and very cliquish. They are missing the understanding of what the birthmother goes through. Nancy once told me “to get over my first born , be grateful fir the children I now have, and focus on them.” having never been a mom, she obviously doesn’t understand how important each child is to a mother. Word of faith churches are what I call, the untouchables. You can’t resolve issues with them ,like the Scriptures tell us to do. They stay in their ice castles in the sky . The true heart of the shepherd is for the lost sheep.This ministry would become more effective if they would understand what that means.
April 3, 2017 at 5:45 pm